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The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non residents Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non residents
The graph illustrates the car journeys made per day by the resident and non-residents over 10 years between 1996 and 2005. Overall, the number of car journeys of the residents in the city center in the first four years was much higher, because the non-resident’s daily car journeys gradually got increased after the year 1999 due to the 2 rules introduced into the city. In the year 1996, the average number of car journeys per day was highest around 9900 as seen in the graph which was slightly lessened about 45-50% up to 5000 in the successive years after the parking meters were introduced into the city center in 1999. However, they reduced the car journeys down to an average of 4000 in 2005 as the Westgate street and Park lane was restricted to traffic. On the other hand, the average count of the car journeys was seen as 5000 and had tended to increase significantly which got stabled for a while. Though, the number of journeys got highly reduced to around 3000 in the year 2003 after immediate predestined rules in the city but was evidently more compared to resident’s car journeys in the last year 2005.
The graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
made per day by the resident and non-residents over 10 years between 1996 and 2005.

Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
of the residents in the city center in the
first
four years was much higher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the non-resident’s daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
increased after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1999 due to the 2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
introduced into the city.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1996, the average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
per day was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
around 9900 as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the graph which was
slightly
lessened about 45-50% up to 5000 in the successive years after the parking meters
were introduced
into the city center in 1999.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
down to an average of 4000 in 2005 as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westgate
street and Park lane
was restricted
to traffic.

On the other hand
, the average count of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as 5000 and had tended to increase
significantly
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stabled for a while. Though, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to around 3000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003 after immediate predestined
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was
evidently
more compared to resident’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journeys
in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non residents

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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