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The chart below show the percentage of male and famale teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK 2010. v.1

The chart below show the percentage of male and famale teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK 2010. v. 1
The bar charts given below information the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK 2010. The data present in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that the highest percentage was women meanwhile the smallest was men. In the one hand, between women and man which got the biggest percentage was women which got around 80% which was the biggest category namely in the nursery/pre-school, followed by primary school with percentage degree between 80% which was highest second, but for secondary school, college, private institute and university percentage degree experienced decrease between 40% up to around 20%. On the other hand, from men degree percentage from nursery/pre-school, primary school, secondary school, college, private training institute and university experience increase around 0% up to 60% which experienced increase significantly. From the bar charts can be accepted conclusion between women and men which percentage experienced increase was men 60% and women percentage degree experienced decrease as for as around 20%
The bar charts
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given
below information the
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percentage
of male and female teachers in six
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different
types of educational setting in the UK 2010. The data present in
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percentage
.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the highest
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percentage
was
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women
meanwhile the smallest was
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men
.

In the one hand, between
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women
and
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man
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the biggest
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percentage
was
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women
which
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got
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around
80% which was the biggest category
namely
in the nursery/
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
, followed by primary
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school
with
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percentage
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degree
between 80% which was
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highest
second,
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but
for secondary
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school
, college, private institute and university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
decrease between 40% up to
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around
20%.

On the other hand
, from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
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percentage
from nursery/
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
, primary
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school
, secondary
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school
, college, private training institute and university experience increase
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around
0% up to 60% which
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experienced
increase
significantly
.

From the bar charts can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
conclusion between
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women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
60% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
decrease as for as
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around
20%
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart below show the percentage of male and famale teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK 2010. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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