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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010
This graph shows the kinds of activities done by old people in their spare time, covering a period from the 1980s to now in the United States. We can see that generally the activities listed have been increasing in popularity amongst the elderly, with hiking increasing steadily throughout the years, and watching TV being the most popular overall. In the 1980s, nearly all activities were growing in popularity. The only activity which was becoming less popular over these years was going to the theatre. Going to the theatre declined steeply from 50% to 30%. This changed in the 1990s, and going to the theatre became more popular, whereas reading saw a dramatic drop in popularity. The number of people doing all other activities increased. This century, hiking, reading, going to the theatre and surfing the Internet have all been increasing in popularity. However, watching TV has been decreasing in popularity. Despite this, watching TV is still the second most popular activity nowadays amongst this group. Most elderly people are hiking nowadays in their spare time.
This graph
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shows
the kinds of
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activities
done by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their spare time, covering a period from the 1980s to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in the United States. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
generally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
listed have been increasing in
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popularity
amongst the elderly, with hiking increasing
steadily
throughout the years, and watching TV being the most
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popular
overall
.

In the 1980s,
nearly
all
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activities
were growing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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activity
which was becoming less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
over these years was going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. Going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
declined
steeply
from 50% to 30%.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the 1990s, and going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
became more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
, whereas reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dramatic drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
. The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
increased.

This century, hiking, reading, going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and surfing the Internet have all been increasing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
.
However
, watching TV has been decreasing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popularity
. Despite this, watching TV is
still
the second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
nowadays amongst this group. Most elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hiking nowadays in their spare time.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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