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The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. v.4

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. v. 4
The bar graph illustrates how many British citizens devoting money to charity by various age groups in the years 1990 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that majority of people donating money aged 36 to 65 for both years and people aged from 18 to 25 were the least to donate money. First and foremost, the most striking feature is that there was an increasing trend in the proportion of British people donating money in 1990 and peaked at people aged 36 to 50 (just above 40%) which is then followed by a gradual drop. The proportion of people who aged over 65 giving money to charity accounted for about 33%. Turning to 2010, it is revealed that there was a significant rise in the percentage of British people who donate money (approximately 6% for those aged 18 to 25 and 24% for that age group of 26 to 35). A similar trend can be observed for the next age group and hit its peak at about 40%for those aged 51 to 65. In contrary, an opposing trend can be seen in the last age group (people aged over 65).
The bar graph illustrates how
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many
British citizens devoting
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money
to charity by various
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age
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groups
in the years 1990 and 2010.
Overall
, it is
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clear
that majority of
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people
donating
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money
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aged
36 to 65 for both years and
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people
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aged
from 18 to 25 were the least to donate money.

First
and foremost, the most striking feature is that there was an increasing trend in the proportion of British
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people
donating
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money
in 1990 and peaked at
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people
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aged
36 to 50 (
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just
above 40%) which is then followed by a gradual drop. The proportion of
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people
who
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aged
over 65 giving
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money
to charity accounted for about 33%.

Turning to 2010, it
is revealed
that there was a significant rise in the percentage of British
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people
who donate
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money
(approximately 6% for those
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aged
18 to 25 and 24% for that
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 26 to 35). A similar trend can
be observed
for the
next
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age
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group
and hit its peak at about 40%for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
51 to 65. In contrary, an opposing trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the last
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
over 65).
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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