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The table below shows the number of kilometres passengers travelled on five types of transport in a European country in 1995, 2005 and 2015. v.1

The table below shows the number of kilometres passengers travelled on five types of transport in a European country in 1995, 2005 and 2015. v. 1
A glance at the table provided reveals the distances travelled by passengers on five kinds of vehicles in a European country over a twenty years period, from 1995 to 2015. It is evident that there were fluctuations in the distances travelled in different modes of transports over the given period but trains and buses were more popular. One particularly interesting fact is that from a mere 2 billion kilometres travel in the airway in 1995, it soared to ten times in 2015. This shows that air travel has become popular in recent years. The rail travel, meanwhile, rose gradually by 10 billion in 2005 and reached the 60 billion mark in 2015. From the given figure it is clear that travelling in railways was the most popular form of travelling in the given European country. On the contrary, travelling on a bus was more popular in the 1990s, as 56 billion km were travelled using buses, but lost its popularity in the later years. Furthermore, distances travelled by bicycles and motorbikes were comparatively lesser and experienced a slow decline, to somewhere in the vicinity of 1 and 2 billion km. respectively in 2005, followed by a slight increase in 2015. It is also interesting to note that the total distance travelled by the passengers in this country in 1995 was 103 billion km while it increased over the years and reached 130 billion km in 2015.
A glance at the table provided reveals the
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distances
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travelled
by passengers on five kinds of vehicles in a European country over a twenty years period, from 1995 to 2015. It is evident that there were fluctuations in the
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distances
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travelled
in
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different
modes of transports over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
trains and buses were more popular.

One
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
particularly interesting
fact is that from a mere 2
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billion
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
travel in the airway in 1995, it soared to ten times in 2015. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that air travel has become popular in recent years. The rail travel, meanwhile, rose
gradually
by 10
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billion
in 2005 and reached the 60
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billion
mark in 2015. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
figure it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that travelling in railways was the most popular form of travelling in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
European country.
On the contrary
, travelling on a bus was more popular in the 1990s, as 56
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billion
km were
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travelled
using buses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lost its popularity in the later years.

Furthermore
,
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distances
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travelled
by bicycles and motorbikes were
comparatively
lesser and experienced a slow decline, to somewhere in the vicinity of 1 and 2
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billion
km.
respectively
in 2005, followed by a slight increase in 2015.

It is
also
interesting to note that the total
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distance
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travelled
by the passengers in this country in 1995 was 103
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billion
km while it increased over the years and reached 130
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billion
km in 2015.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The table below shows the number of kilometres passengers travelled on five types of transport in a European country in 1995, 2005 and 2015. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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