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The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
This chart illustrates the percentage of british people giving money to charity at various age range for the years 1990 and 2010. The ages were divided into 5 groups; 18-25 yrs. old, 26-35 yrs. old, 36-50 yrs. old, 51-65 yrs. old, and the > 65 yrs. old age groups. At the year 1990, the graph shows the top age groups who are able to donate money to charity were the people at the age 36-50 and the lowest are the age group of 18-25 yrs old. The 36-50 yrs. old age group are usually the ones who are already into investment and are commonly with stable job, 40% of them gave money to charity. Meanwhile, the group with least amount of donations are the ones at around 18-25 yrs. old. Most of the time this group is still at college level or entry level at work, with minimal amount to donate. 15% of this age group donated to charity. The 35% of the British people at the age of 51-65 years old were generous enough to help for a cause. While 30% of the 26-35 yrs. old & > 65 yrs. old (Middle group) equally provided on the same year. However by the year 2010, you can see the drastic change in percentage of donors for the charity and the improvements on the age groups as well. In this bar graph, you can see that the hard earners and near to retire age group of 51-65 yrs. old, from 35%. , 40% of them donated money to the charity placing them as one of our high paying donors. The age group of 18-25 still remained as the least donors at only 5% of their population donated this year. The Second and equally group of donors were the age group of 36-50 & > 65 years of age at the percentage of thirty five. The third group, at the percentage of 25 are the 26-35 yrs. old. The generosity of the British people may vary with their age and career in life. This bar graph only shows the year 1990 & 2010. To sum it up, I can conclude that the age group 36-50 yrs. old who were the highest percentage of donors at the year 1990 still continued to prosper and donate at the charity by the time they reach 51-65 years old at the year 2010. The age group of 18-25 yrs. old may remained as the least percentage of donors but we can' t deduct their contribution to the charity throughout the years.
This chart illustrates the
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percentage
of
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british
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people
giving
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money
to
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charity
at various
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age
range for the years 1990 and 2010. The
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ages
were divided
into 5
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groups
; 18-25 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
, 26-35 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
, 36-50 yrs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
old
, 51-65 yrs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
old
, and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
; 65 yrs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
old
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age
groups.

At the
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year
1990, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the top
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age
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groups
who are able to donate
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money
to
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charity
were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
36-50 and the lowest are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 18-25 yrs
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old
. The 36-50 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
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age
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group
are
usually
the
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ones
who are already into investment and are
commonly
with stable job, 40% of them gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount of donations are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
at around 18-25 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
. Most of the time this
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group
is
still
at college level or entry level at work, with minimal amount to donate. 15% of this
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
donated to
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charity
. The 35% of the British
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people
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 51-65 years
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old
were generous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for a cause.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
30% of the 26-35 yrs.
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old
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
; 65 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
(Middle
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group)
equally
provided on the same year.

However
by the
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year
2010, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donors
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
and the improvements on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
as well
. In this bar graph, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
earners and near to retire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 51-65 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
, from 35%.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
40% of them donated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
placing them as one of our high paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donors
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 18-25
still
remained as the least
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donors
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of their population donated this
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year
. The Second and
equally
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group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donors
were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 36-50
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
; 65 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty five
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 25 are the 26-35 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
generosity of the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and career in life. This bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; 2010. To sum it up, I can conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
36-50 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
who were the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donors
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990
still
continued to prosper and donate at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
by the time they reach 51-65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 18-25 yrs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
may remained as the least
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t deduct their contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
throughout the years.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
84Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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