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t can be seen that, OECD and Developing countries accounts for the major rate of gas emissons while transition economies v.2

t can be seen that, OECD and Developing countries accounts for the major rate of gas emissons while transition economies v. 2
The pie chart combined with the bar graph illustrates the proportion of greenhouse gas emissions worldwide in 3 different fields namely OECD, transition economies and developing countries and the worldwide carbon dioxide emissions by many sectors in 2002 and forecast for 2030. It can be seen that OECD and Developing countries account for the major rate of gas emissions while transition economies are responsible for the minority of gas emissions. Industry becomes the major cause of carbon dioxide, simultaneously, waste contributions, transportation and consumer is predicted to experience an upward trend in the future. The 2 given pie charts show that there will be a slight increase in the percentage of emissions in the developing countries from 38% in 2002 to 48% in 2020. Whereas, in OECD, the rate of gas emission is expected to decrease to 43%, is 9% less than in 2002. countries with transition economies is estimated to remain at 9% in 2020, is 1% less than in 2002. The bar chart reveals that industry is the main factor which contributes to carbon dioxide emissions, the figure is expected to rise to nearly 11 billion tons in 2020. next comes the consumer sector, which is projected to produce more than 8 billion tons in 2020, is twice as much as the figure in 2002. the third largest producer will be transportations with the amount is expected up to over 5 millions ton in 2020, triple than the quantitive in 20002
The pie chart combined with the bar graph illustrates the proportion of greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
worldwide in 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields
namely
OECD, transition economies and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the worldwide carbon dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors in 2002 and forecast for 2030.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that OECD and Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
account for the major rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
while transition economies are responsible for the minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. Industry becomes the major cause of carbon dioxide,
simultaneously
, waste contributions, transportation and consumer
is predicted
to experience an upward trend in the future.

The 2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that there will be a slight increase in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
in the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from 38% in 2002 to 48% in 2020. Whereas, in OECD, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to decrease to 43%, is 9% less than in 2002.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
countries
with transition economies
is estimated
to remain at 9% in 2020, is 1% less than in 2002.

The bar chart reveals that industry is the main factor which contributes to carbon dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
, the figure is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise to
nearly
11 billion tons in 2020.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the consumer sector, which
is projected
to produce more than 8 billion tons in 2020, is twice as much as the figure in 2002.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
third largest producer will be transportations with the amount is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
up to over 5 millions ton in 2020,
Use "(triple)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
triple
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
quantitive
in 20002
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS academic t can be seen that, OECD and Developing countries accounts for the major rate of gas emissons while transition economies v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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