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the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the U. K from 2001 to 2008. v.1

the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the U. K from 2001 to 2008. v. 1
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of U. K population consuming five parts of fruit and vegetable daily between 2001 and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that, over the period as a whole, the number of people having such a diet had increased. In addition to this, it was also noticed that the women under this category out numbered men and children. At the beginning of the period, the percentage of female stood at just above 20, which was almost double the amount of children in that year. Following that, their proportion gradually increased, hitting a peak in 2006, accounting for over 30%, it then tapered off a little by the end of the period still being at the top of the other groups. Children, on the other hand, remained the lowest population falling under such category, starting at a little above 10%, it remained stable for the next few years after which its percentage rose slowly reaching a high of around 25% in the year 2007, ending the time frame in 2008 at a little less than 25%, being the lowest of that year. In addition, the graph of men followed a similar pattern, however it stood second throughout the years.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of U. K population consuming five parts of fruit and vegetable daily between 2001 and 2008.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, over the period as a whole, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having such a diet had increased.
In addition
to this, it was
also
noticed that the women under this category out numbered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and children.

At the beginning of the period, the percentage of female stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20, which was almost double the amount of children in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Following that, their proportion
gradually
increased, hitting a peak in 2006, accounting for over 30%, it then tapered off a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
still
being at the top of the other groups.

Children,
on the other hand
, remained the lowest population falling under such category, starting at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 10%, it remained stable for the
next
few years after which its percentage rose
slowly
reaching a high of around 25% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007, ending the time frame in 2008 at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than 25%, being the lowest of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In addition
, the graph of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
followed a similar pattern,
however
it stood second throughout the years.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the U. K from 2001 to 2008. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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