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The bar chart showing the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in uk from 2001 to 2008. v.2

The bar chart showing the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in uk from 2001 to 2008. v. 2
This chart compares the proporation of people who were consuming the five portions of fruit and vegetables per day for the period of eight years between 2001 and 2008 Overall, the people who consumed the maximum amount of fruit and vegetables was women, followed by men. Children consumed the least portion of these foods. However, the figures mushroomed in the coming years. The percentage of women consuming the food was 20% in 2001, this figure rose steadily from 2002(24%) to 2005 (30%). Finally this figure reached up to 35% in 2006. However, the figure slightly dropped in the next two years. In relation of men and children, the consumption pattern was stable from 2001 to 2003 (about 12% and 17%). In 2004 proporation of children consuming portions of food reached 17% and finally increased up to the peak of 25% in 2007 and final drop in this figure was by almost 2% in 2008. The percentage of men mushroomed to 28% in 2006 and remained stable in 2007, leading to drop by 2% in 2008.
This chart compares the
Possible spelling mistake found.
proporation
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were consuming the five portions of fruit and vegetables per day for the period of eight years between 2001 and 2008

Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consumed the maximum amount of fruit and vegetables was women, followed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Children consumed the least portion of these foods.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
mushroomed in the coming years.

The percentage of women consuming the food was 20% in 2001, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
rose
steadily
from 2002(24%) to 2005 (30%).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
reached up to 35% in 2006.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
slightly
dropped in the
next
two years.

In relation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and children, the consumption pattern was stable from 2001 to 2003 (about 12% and 17%). In 2004
Possible spelling mistake found.
proporation
of children consuming portions of food reached 17% and
finally
increased up to the peak of 25% in 2007 and final drop in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was by almost 2% in 2008. The percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
mushroomed to 28% in 2006 and remained stable in 2007, leading to drop by 2% in 2008.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic The bar chart showing the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in uk from 2001 to 2008. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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