Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart shows the percentages of people, who ate five different parts fruit and vegetables as per day between 2001 to 2008 in United kingdom. v.2

The bar chart shows the percentages of people, who ate five different parts fruit and vegetables as per day between 2001 to 2008 in United kingdom. v. 2
The provided bar chart illustrates an overview of the percentages of ( men, women and children), who were eating the different five segment of fruit and vegetables each day in the UK between 2001 and 2008. In summary, the percentage of men, women and children were increased significantly. The highest percentages of fruit and vegetables were taken by women while the lowest percentages of goods were achieved by children during the 8 years. In 2001, the highest percentage of women took a food and it was almost 22 percent were as men and children took nearly 17% and approximately 13% respectively. Similarly, in 2006, just over 20% of male consumed vegetables and food; in contrast, women were go above 30% and children were almost 27%. As opposed to, the percentage of people were descending ( from 2006 to 2008 ). In 2008, a significant percentages of men took fruits and vegetables and it was approximately 30%. In contrary men and children took almost 25% and 23% respectively.
The provided bar chart illustrates an overview of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children)
, who were eating the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'segment' seems to be countable, so consider using: "segments".
segment
of fruit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
each day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were increased
significantly
. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of fruit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
were taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
while the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
were achieved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during the 8 years.

In 2001, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
a food and it was almost 22 percent were as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
nearly
17% and approximately 13%
respectively
.
Similarly
, in 2006,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20% of male consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and food;
in contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
above 30% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were almost 27%.

As opposed to, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were descending
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
from 2006 to 2008
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. In 2008, a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "percentage"?
percentages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
fruits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and it was approximately 30%. In contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
almost 25% and 23%
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentages of people, who ate five different parts fruit and vegetables as per day between 2001 to 2008 in United kingdom. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart shows the percentages of people, who ate five different parts fruit and vegetables as per day between 2001 to 2008 in United kingdom. v.2