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The char and table below give information about healtcare resources and life expectancy in different countries. v.1

The char and table below give information about healtcare resources and life expectancy in different countries. v. 1
Given are bar chart and table explaining the healthcare services and life expectancy in four continents including Asia, America, Australia and Europe. In brief, those two figures show that Japan provides the highest number of hospital beds and has the highest life expectancy among others. Looking at the detail of the bar chart, Japan accounted 14 hospital beds per thousand of the population, followed by Germany with almost a half of this number by 8 units. On the other hand, the rest of six countries are varied around two to four hospital beds per thousand of the population, which are only a quarter from the total hospital beds in Japan. Take a closer to the table, it is immediately obvious that government health spending (in dollars) are indirectly proportional with the life expectancy. Although United States have been spending 6, 719 dollars, people there just accounted on 78 years old of life expectancy. On the contrary Netherlands and Japan which are apparently spending only a half of US budget, capable of reaching 80 and 83 life expectancy, respectively.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
are bar chart and table explaining the healthcare services and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy in four continents including Asia, America, Australia and Europe.
In brief
, those two figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that Japan provides the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
and has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy among others.

Looking at the detail of the bar chart, Japan accounted 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
per thousand of the population, followed by Germany with almost a half of this number by 8 units.
On the other hand
, the rest of six countries
are varied
around two to four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
per thousand of the population, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a quarter from the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
in Japan.

Take a closer to the table, it is immediately obvious that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
health spending (in dollars) are
indirectly
proportional with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. Although United States have been spending 6, 719 dollars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accounted on 78 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.
On the contrary
Netherlands and Japan which are
apparently
spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a half of US budget, capable of reaching 80 and 83
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy,
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The char and table below give information about healtcare resources and life expectancy in different countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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