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The table below shows the figures of imprisonment in 5 countries between 1930 and 1980 Write a report for a University lecturer describing the information shown below v.2

The table below shows the figures of imprisonment in 5 countries between 1930 and 1980 Write a report for a University lecturer describing the information shown below v. 2
The table illustrates, the number of people going to prison in five different countries namely Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada between 1930 and 1980. Overall, it can be seen that imprisonment figures of United States were highest among all and all except Canada showed an increase in imprisonment rates. units are measured in thousands. To begin with, in 1930 Canada has highest imprisonment figures of 120000. United States and New Zealand had similar figures of hundred thousands, while Australia' s figure was 70000. On the other hand, Great Britain had least number of criminals in prisons about 30000. In 1940 New Zealand and Australia showed the tremendous decline in imprisonment with both had approximately 50000 whereas, Great Britain rate remained constant. Canada figures also went down a little, but United States showed a significant rise with highest figures of 130000. In 1950, the United States rates fell down again to 100000, and Great Britain rate showed a positive growth of 20000. However, rest of the countries remained unchanged. Great Britain and New Zealand showed a steady increase in rates and reached maximum of 90000 in 1980. Furthermore, Australia' s rates also rose overtime till a sudden fall in 1982 to 50000. United States showed a significant rise in 1980 to reach all time highest figures of 140000. Canada showed a downward pattern till a small increase in 1980 with figure of 100000.
The table illustrates, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to prison in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
namely
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Great
Britain, Australia,
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New
Zealand,
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United
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States
and Canada between 1930 and 1980.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of
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United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
were highest among all and all except Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
units
are measured
in thousands.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1930 Canada has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of 120000.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
and
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New
Zealand had similar
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figures
of hundred thousands, while
Possible spelling mistake found.
Australia&
#039; s
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figure
was 70000.
On the other hand
,
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Great
Britain had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
number of criminals in prisons about 30000. In 1940
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New
Zealand and Australia
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showed
the tremendous decline in
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imprisonment
with both had approximately 50000 whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Great
Britain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
remained constant. Canada
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figures
also
went down a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a significant rise with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of 130000.

In 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
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States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
fell down again to 100000, and
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Great
Britain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
growth of 20000.
However
, rest of the countries remained unchanged.
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Great
Britain and
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New
Zealand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a steady increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and reached maximum of 90000 in 1980.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Australia&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
also
rose overtime till a sudden fall in 1982 to 50000.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a significant rise in 1980 to reach
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective "all-time"
all time
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of 140000. Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a downward pattern till a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increase in 1980 with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of 100000.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the figures of imprisonment in 5 countries between 1930 and 1980 Write a report for a University lecturer describing the information shown below v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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