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The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001. v.2

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001. v. 2
The pie charts compare the proportion of expenditure of British citizens in different categories in 1971 with that of 2001. Overall, fuel, furniture and outside meals drained the highest proportion of British expenditure in 1971, but personal cars cost them the highest after three decades. According to the illustration, Brits used one-quarter of their total expenses to dine in different eateries while almost one-third to own furniture. Petrol cost them the highest, 36% to be precise, and those citizens spent only 7% to buy computers. After 30 years, 43% of their expenses went on owing cars. Their cost ratio on furniture became one-fourth and they spend slightly less than half on restaurant meals as they did three decades earlier. How much they spent on home cooked food in 1971 was not provided but it was 14% in 2001. They spend 5% more for purchasing computers and petrol costs only 8% in 2001. The least percentage of spending was made to buy books, for which no data was given in the early chart.
The pie charts compare the proportion of expenditure of British citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories in 1971 with that of 2001.
Overall
, fuel, furniture and outside meals drained the highest proportion of British expenditure in 1971,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
personal cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
them the highest after three decades.

According to the illustration, Brits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
one-quarter of their total expenses to dine in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
eateries while almost one-third to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
furniture. Petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
them the highest, 36% to be precise, and those citizens spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
computers.

After 30 years, 43% of their expenses went on owing cars. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
ratio on furniture became
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
one-fourth and
they spend
slightly
less than half on restaurant meals as they did three decades earlier. How much they spent on home cooked food in 1971 was not provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was 14% in 2001. They spend 5% more for purchasing computers and petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% in 2001. The least percentage of spending
was made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books, for which no data was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the early chart.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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