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The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK v.5

The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK v. 5
The bar chart demonstrates the expense of three types of fast food item which were consumed by United Kingdom citizens in 1990. Generally speaking, it is easy to see that people with high and average income spent more money on hamburger. Besides, it could be observed that fish and chip attracted the consumption of low income groups. According to the bar graph, the people who had high income tended to use their money to hamburger with more than 45 million pounds. Otherwise, two other fast food namely Pizza, Fish and Chip that high income citizens expensed more than 15 million pounds, less than 3 times that of Hamburger. As same as high earners, the most preferred of average income, which is Hamburger with 33 million pounds, was more than 2 times as much as Pizza. There was a quite high favorite in Fish and Chip with 25 million pound in 1990. In the low-income group, people who different from 2 pervious groups, spend more money on Fish and Chip than Hamburger and Pizza. However, their costumes was relatively low, with 17 million pound on Fish and Chip, 14 million pound on Hamburger and only 7 million pound on Pizza.
The bar chart demonstrates the expense of three types of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food item which
were consumed
by United Kingdom citizens in 1990.

Generally
speaking, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
and average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
spent more money on hamburger.
Besides
, it could
be observed
that fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chip
attracted the consumption of low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
groups.

According to the bar graph, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money to hamburger with more than 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
pounds.
Otherwise
, two other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
namely
Pizza, Fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chip
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
citizens expensed more than 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
pounds, less than 3 times that of Hamburger.

As same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earners, the most preferred of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, which is Hamburger with 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
pounds, was more than 2 times as much as Pizza. There was a quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
favorite in Fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chip
with 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
in 1990.

In the low-income group,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from 2
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
groups, spend more money on Fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chip
than Hamburger and Pizza.
However
, their costumes was
relatively
low, with 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
on Fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chip
, 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
on Hamburger and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pound' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pounds".
pound
on Pizza.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK v. 5

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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