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The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001 v.6

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001 v. 6
The given bar chart illustrates the average time spent by tutors on teaching in 3 levels of educations, in 4 different countries in the year 2001. Overall, it is obvious that the USA was the most interested in providing education, while teachers in Japan spent the least time span on doing this. With regards to primary school, USA' teachers provided most of their time to teaching, with approximately 750 hours in the given year, well above Japan, Iceland and Spain which were represented by similar values of around 600 hours. For lower-secondary level, the teachers from Iceland were the least keen to deliver their courses, providing only 600 hours for this, while the USA was the top country with 1000 hours. Japan and Spain accounted for an average figure, between 650 and 750 hours. Finally, for upper secondary tuition, just under 1200 hours were allocated in the USA, which represented the highest figure on the graph. Iceland and Spain had an equal number of hours spent on this practice, of 900. By contrast, the least interested country in providing this level of knowledge was Japan, with just over half the USA figure.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the average time spent by tutors on teaching in 3 levels of educations, in 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in the year 2001.

Overall
, it is obvious that the USA was the most interested in providing education, while teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
spent the least time span on doing this.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
primary school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
USA&
#039; teachers provided most of their time to teaching, with approximately 750
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year, well above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Iceland and Spain which
were represented
by similar values of around 600 hours.

For lower-secondary level, the teachers from Iceland were the least keen to deliver their courses, providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for this, while the USA was the top country with 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Spain accounted for an average figure, between 650 and 750 hours.

Finally
, for upper secondary tuition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 1200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
were allocated
in the USA, which represented the highest figure on the graph. Iceland and Spain had an equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent on this practice, of 900. By contrast, the least interested country in providing this level of knowledge was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over half the USA figure.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001 v. 6

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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