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The bar chart shows the results of a survey in which people in Europe and the USA were asked they consider to be the most important factor in the success of a business v.2

The bar chart shows the results of a survey in which people in Europe and the USA were asked they consider to be the most important factor in the success of a business v. 2
The line graph demonstrates the outcome of a survey which was conducted in Europe and the USA to identify the most significant factor to become successful in a business. Overall, It is clear that majority of the people in the USA believed director' s personality and Business Management are two major key factors while in the European community it was only business management. However, minority of the people from the European community and the USA considered political situation and external factor have importance too. According to the graph, around 37% of people from the USA selected how the business is managed and personality of the director as the significant factor to reach the goal, while in Europe, these figures were quite different, nearly 38% and exactly 20%, respectively. Meanwhile, the importance of national economy was being selected by around 21% of European and 19% of American. Again, the proportion of people who identified external factors were exactly same in both countries, around 8%. Meanwhile, nearly 5% of people from the USA chose political situation as a key factor, while in Europe, the proportion of this figure was almost tripled.
The line graph demonstrates the outcome of a survey which
was conducted
in Europe and the USA to identify the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to become successful in a business.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA believed
Possible spelling mistake found.
director&
#039; s personality and Business Management are two major key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
while in the European community it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
business management.
However
, minority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the European community and the USA considered political situation and external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
have importance too.

According to the graph, around 37% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the USA selected how the business
is managed
and personality of the director as the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to reach the goal, while in Europe, these figures were quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
nearly
38% and exactly 20%,
respectively
. Meanwhile, the importance of national economy was
being selected
by around 21% of European and 19% of American.

Again, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who identified external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
were exactly same in both countries, around 8%. Meanwhile,
nearly
5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the USA chose political situation as a key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
, while in Europe, the proportion of this figure was almost tripled.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the results of a survey in which people in Europe and the USA were asked they consider to be the most important factor in the success of a business v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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