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The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. v.4

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. v. 4
The diagram compares the visitors’ number to three museums in London between 2007 and 2012. Overall, National Gallery, despite its least popularity in early years, managed to become the most visited museum in London in 2012. As is presented in the diagram, Victoria and Albert Museum received the highest number of visitants in 2007, roughly 13 million. At that time, National Gallery and the British Museum received 6 and 12 million spectators respectively. During next two years, Victoria and Albert Museum enjoyed its first position in terms of visitors’ number, but it was a close tie with the National Gallery in 2009. This year all three museums were visited by the least number of people, around 8 million to National Gallery and Victoria and Albert Museum and only 6 million to the British Museum. The highest number of people (approximately 11. 5 million) visited the National Gallery in 2010 and other two museums attracted 6-7 million fans. In 2012, National Gallery became the most popular museum in London with roughly 16 million observers. The British Museum in this year sold tickets to nearly 14 million people and the least visitants preferred the Victoria and Albert Museum during this time.
The diagram compares the visitors’
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number
to three
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museums
in London between 2007 and 2012.
Overall
,
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National
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Gallery
, despite its least popularity in early years, managed to become the most visited
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museum
in London in 2012.

As
is presented
in the diagram, Victoria and Albert
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Museum
received the highest
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number
of visitants in 2007, roughly 13
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million
. At that time,
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National
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Gallery
and the British
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Museum
received 6 and 12
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million
spectators
respectively
. During
next
two years, Victoria and Albert
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Museum
enjoyed its
first
position in terms of visitors’
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number
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was a close tie with the
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National
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Gallery
in 2009. This
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year
all three
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museums
were visited
by the least
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, around 8
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million
to
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National
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Gallery
and Victoria and Albert
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Museum
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6
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million
to the British Museum.

The highest
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(approximately 11. 5
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million)
visited the
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National
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Gallery
in 2010 and other two
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museums
attracted 6-7
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million
fans. In 2012,
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National
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Gallery
became the most popular
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museum
in London with roughly 16
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million
observers. The British
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Museum
in this
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year
sold tickets to
nearly
14
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the least visitants preferred the Victoria and Albert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
during this time.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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