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The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. v.1

The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. v. 1
The bar chart compares the construction of new houses in two cities - Derby and Nottingham, from 2000 to 2009. Generally speaking, the number of new homes in these two cities increased steadily through the years and inhabitants of Derby end up building more abodes in the final year despite a considerable gap in the previous year. As the data suggest, around 95 residences were built in these two cities in 2000 and 50 of them were established in Nottingham. In 2002, roughly 70 further houses came into existence in Derby which was considerably higher than the development of new abodes in Nottingham. This trend continued until 2005. Next year, almost no new houses were built in Nottingham but Derby witnessed the creation of almost 110 new homes. In 2007, a reverse case was obvious when around 190 brand new buildings were made in Nottingham compared to just over 100 in Derby. Building new homes in 2008 showed another anomaly when an ignorable number of new homes were developed in Nottingham against nearly 280 brand new houses in Derby. In the final year, 250 new dwellings were added to Nottingham city while almost 350 were developed for Derby residents.
The bar chart compares the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Derby and Nottingham, from 2000 to 2009.
Generally
speaking, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
increased
steadily
through the years and inhabitants of Derby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up building more abodes in the final
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year
despite a considerable gap in the previous year.

As the data suggest, around 95 residences
were built
in these two
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cities
in 2000 and 50 of them
were established
in Nottingham. In 2002, roughly 70
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
came into existence in Derby which was
considerably
higher than the development of
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new
abodes in Nottingham. This trend continued until 2005.
Next
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year
, almost no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were built
in Nottingham
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Derby witnessed the creation of almost 110
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. In 2007, a reverse case was obvious when around 190 brand
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new
buildings
were made
in Nottingham compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 100 in Derby. Building
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in 2008
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
another anomaly when an ignorable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
were developed
in Nottingham against
nearly
280 brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in Derby. In the final
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year
, 250
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new
dwellings were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to Nottingham city while almost 350
were developed
for Derby residents.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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