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the bar chart shows scores of 3 teams a, b nd c over four different seasons. summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons were relevant. v.2

the bar chart shows scores of 3 teams a, b nd c over four different seasons.
The bar chart illustrates total points of 3 different teams [ team A, team B and team I] from 2002 to 2005. it is evident that, team B scored far higher than other two teams in all four consecutive seasons. In 2002 team B scores82 points while team A and team cC accounted far less with merely 5 points and 10 points respectively. In the first 3 seasons there was a significant decline in the points of group B from 82 to 43 points even though it managed to keep it' s first place. In the fourth season, there was a noticeable increase in the points of team B to 5 points, whereas team A and team B could score only 8 and 5 points respectively. Interestingly on the other hand, in the first two seasons group C was in second place while team A managed to report as second in 2004 and 2005. However the highest point if team a was 35 points in season three, whereas team C could score only 15 points as it' s highest score in season 2
The bar chart illustrates total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
of 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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teams
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
[
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team
A,
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team
B and
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team
I] from 2002 to 2005.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is evident that,
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team
B scored far higher than other two
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teams
in all four consecutive seasons.

In 2002
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team
B
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scores82
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points
while
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team
A and
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team
Possible spelling mistake found.
cC
accounted far less with
merely
5
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points
and 10
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points
respectively
. In the
first
3
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seasons
there was a significant decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
of group B from 82 to 43
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points
even though
it managed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
first
place.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the fourth
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season
, there was a noticeable increase in the
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points
of
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team
B to 5
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points
, whereas
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team
A and
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team
B could
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score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8 and 5
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points
respectively
.

Interestingly
on the other hand
, in the
first
two
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seasons
group C was in second place while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
A managed to report as second in 2004 and 2005.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the highest
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point
if
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team
a
Did you mean "way"?
was
35
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points
in
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season
three, whereas
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team
C could
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score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15
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points
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s highest
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score
in
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season
2
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic the bar chart shows scores of 3 teams a, b nd c over four different seasons.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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