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The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008 v.2

The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008 v. 2
The two-line graphs illustrate the percentage of trains, from a particular company, that were either cancelled or running late in October and November in 2008. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the proportion of train trips that were delayed and cancelled both witnessed fluctuations strong over the period shown. Additionally, the highest rate of the trains cancelled happened in 2nd week of October, while the figure for late trains also in the 2nd week of November. In the first week of October, about 20% of all trains did not run on time. The figure rose slightly during the next week before dropping to around 5% in the last week of October. In contrast, when came November, more half of all trains ran late more than the schedule in the second week in November, followed by a mild fall to 40% in the third week. Only 1% of train tours was not operated in the first week. However, the percentage of trains that were cancelled reached a peak of 7% in the second week but later dipped back to the initial figure. After that, there was a significant oscillation in the rest of the period, with about 4% of all trains being cancelled in the final week.
The two-line graphs illustrate the percentage of
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trains
, from a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, that were either
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cancelled
or running late in October and November in 2008.

Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
trips that
were delayed
and
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cancelled
both witnessed fluctuations strong over the period shown.
Additionally
, the highest rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancelled
happened in 2nd
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week
of October, while the figure for late
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trains
also
in the 2nd
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week
of November.

In the
first
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week
of October, about 20% of all
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trains
did not run on time. The figure rose
slightly
during the
next
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week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to around 5% in the last
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week
of October.
In contrast
, when came November, more half of all
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trains
ran late more than the schedule in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in November, followed by a mild fall to 40% in the third week.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
1% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
tours was not operated in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
However
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
that were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancelled
reached a peak of 7% in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later dipped back to the initial figure. After that, there was a significant oscillation in the rest of the period, with about 4% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancelled
in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information on the performance of a train company in October and November in 2008 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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