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The bar chart below shows the of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The bar chart below shows the of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010
The given graph illustrates the proportion of Australian People from both gender among various age groups involving in regular physical activity in the year 2010. Comparison between men and women and People’s Age group ranges from 15 - 65 and above. Overall, Female had the highest proportion of being physically active compared to males. Maximum Physical activity can be observed in Female between ages of 45 - 54 and in males between ages 15 - 24. Men and women were least involved in physical activity in 35 - 44 and 15 - 24 years age group respectively. People in 15 - 24 years group, was the most active group. In 65 and over age groups, both gender had almost equal involvement in physical activity while other groups shows wide variation among genders. 53. 3% of women had the maximum regular physical activity between 45 - 54 age group. 52. 8% of men had the maximum regular physical activity between 15 - 24 age group. In males, steady decline can be observed from 15 - 44 years group followed by a gradual incline there after. On the contrary, Females had a progressive increase from 15 - 54 years and a slight dip there after.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph illustrates the proportion of Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from both gender among various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
involving in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in the
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year
2010. Comparison between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
ranges
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 15 to 65"?
from 15 - 65
and above.

Overall
, Female had the highest proportion of being
physically
active compared to males. Maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can
be observed
in Female between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
45 - 54
and in males between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
15 - 24
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and women were least involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
35 - 44
and
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
15 - 24
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
respectively
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
15 - 24
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, was the most active
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group
. In 65 and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, both gender had almost equal involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
wide variation among genders.

53. 3% of women had the maximum regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
45 - 54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. 52. 8% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had the maximum regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
15 - 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

In males, steady decline can
be observed
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 15 to 44"?
from 15 - 44
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
followed by a gradual incline
Did you mean "thereafter" (= adverb, 'after that')?
there after
.
On the contrary
, Females had a progressive increase
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 15 to 54"?
from 15 - 54
years and a slight dip
Did you mean "thereafter" (= adverb, 'after that')?
there after
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
203 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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