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The bar chart below shows percentage of adults of different age groups inthe UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006 v.2

The bar chart below shows percentage of adults of different age groups inthe UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006 v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the proportions of UK citizens in different age groups who had access to the Internet on their daily basis from 2003 to 2006. It is clear that there was an increase in the percentage of Internet users in each group over the period described, and the Internet was most popular among people aged 16 to 24. In 2003, exactly 80% of 16-to24-year-olds used the Internet, 30% and 35% higher than those of 25-44 and 45-54 groups, respectively. In comparison, only a third of people who were 55 to 64 years old accessed the Internet every day, but no data was recorded for the oldest group. Over the three-year period, Internet usage of the youngest group increased slightly, with its peak being 90% in 2005, compared to a rise of 10% each year of the second youngest group and a steady incline of 5% to 10% in the 55-64 group. With middle-aged people, the percentage of them using the Internet climbed to 60% before falling to 55% in 2006, followed by senior citizens whose Internet usage was always under 15%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportions of UK citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
who had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "accessed".
access


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
the Internet on their daily basis from 2003 to 2006.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was an increase in the percentage of Internet users in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
over the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
, and the Internet was most popular among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 16 to 24.

In 2003, exactly 80% of 16-to24-year-olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet, 30% and 35% higher than those

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
25-44 and 45-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
respectively
.
In comparison
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a third of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were 55
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


64 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
accessed the Internet every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no data
was recorded
for the oldest group.

Over the three-year period, Internet usage of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
increased
slightly
, with its

peak being 90% in 2005, compared to a rise of 10% each year of the second youngest group

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
a steady incline of 5% to 10% in the 55-64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. With middle-aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the percentage of them using the Internet climbed to 60%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling to 55% in 2006, followed by senior citizens whose Internet usage was always under 15%.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows percentage of adults of different age groups inthe UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006 v. 2

Academic
  American English
10 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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