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the bar and line graph illustrates use of speed camera along with numerical information on road accident for the city which is in Melbourne. v.2

the bar and line graph illustrates use of speed camera along with numerical information on road accident for the city which is in Melbourne. v. 2
the bar and line graph illustrates use of speed camera along with numerical information on road accident for the city which is in Melbourne. first bar graph for started from 2002 in this year only 25 cameras used in Melbourne have a power after 1 year it was increased after the double of last year is nearly 50 in 2003 number of speed cameras were used also show price of in 2004 from half of hundred to more than hundred normal changes was shown in the year 2005 which was highest among every year and it was around 150. in the line graph accidents ratio was quite above from 3% in 2002 whereas in that your percentage of that was in ten affection after the measurement of your accident number was slightly increased from last couple of yours in the year of 2004 death ratio was started from initial point which was one end of the year both show increment in the numbers. overall number of speed cameras in Melbourne city was constantly increasing every year was accident ratio was quite higher than that death.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar and line graph illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
along with numerical information on road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
for the city which is in Melbourne.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
bar graph for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 2002 in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Melbourne have a power after 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it
was increased
after the double of last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is
nearly
50 in 2003 number of speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
price of in 2004 from half of hundred to more than
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
was shown
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 which was highest among every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and it was around 150.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the line graph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
ratio was quite above from 3% in 2002 whereas in that your percentage of that was in ten affection after the measurement of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
number was
slightly
increased from last couple of yours in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2004 death ratio was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from initial point which was one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
increment in the numbers.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
number of speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in Melbourne city was
constantly
increasing every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
ratio was quite higher than that death.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic the bar and line graph illustrates use of speed camera along with numerical information on road accident for the city which is in Melbourne. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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