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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.54

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 54
It is commonly thought, the advent of technology and internet is a big step through our century. definitely the technology has brought more convenient to our life, specially cyber technology has able us to access the enormous information and knowledge in any field such as medicine, politics, social, sport, art and so on. As everyone can access to the internet with minimum of equipment in every place so it would be attracts more fans in our society gradually. In addition some devices like Cellphones, TV, Tablets are going to be significant part of our life. beside all advantages of these invents if anybody could not control the situation it would alter the fundamental of families and communication to isolate them from the society in the fallowing years. Even there is a threat for the people who do not able to manage the time of working with these devises so it would be caused of gaining weight and to be face with some diseases which is the big obstacle for mankind. as a result, if the people do not attention to their aspects of their life style and keep going with this situation the society would be affected by massive unsolved problems.
It is
commonly
thought
, the advent of technology and internet is a
big
step through our century.
definitely
the technology has brought more convenient to our life,
specially
cyber technology has able us to access the enormous information and knowledge in any field such as medicine, politics, social, sport, art and
so
on. As everyone can access to the internet with minimum of equipment in every place
so
it would be
attracts
more fans in our society
gradually
.

In
addition
some
devices like Cellphones, TV, Tablets are going to be significant part of our life.
beside
all advantages of these invents if anybody could not control the situation it would alter the fundamental of families and communication to isolate them from the society in the fallowing years.

Even there is a threat for the
people
who do not able to manage the time of working with these devises
so
it would
be caused
of gaining weight and to be
face
with
some
diseases which is the
big
obstacle for mankind.

as
a result, if the
people
do not attention to their aspects of their life style and
keep
going with this situation the society would be
affected
by massive unsolved problems.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS academic Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 54

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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