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Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v.2

Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v. 2
Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. On the one hand, parents have always set an example on behaviors for their children, as children learn through imitating parents. Parents have raised children up since they were born and been closest to them, so children manners are good reflection of their parents. On the other hand, some people think that children should learn this at school. As school is an example of a society, it is better to learn in realistic situations. Moreover, teachers and especially schoolmates really make a huge impact on how a child behaves towards others as well as his parents do, because many children think that teachers and friends are always right. In my opinion, other home and school affect a child’s behaviors, as both are the places where he spends the most of his childhood in and that is the time when his characters are shaped. He doesn’t know what is right or wrong, the only thing he knows is to observe people around him and act like them. If parents, teachers and friends can form good members of the community, so will this child. In conclusion, I believe that parents and teachers should give children lessons on how to be a good person, as well as children should be in an environment in which everyone around them have positive influences on them.
Many
people
hold a view that
children
should
be taught
to be part community by their
parents
, while others would argue that it is better for them to
learn
this at school.

On the one hand,
parents
have always set an example on behaviors for their
children
, as
children
learn
through imitating
parents
.
Parents
have raised
children
up since they
were born
and been closest to them,
so
children
manners are
good
reflection of their parents.

On the
other
hand,
some
people
think
that
children
should
learn
this at school. As school is an example of a society, it is better to
learn
in realistic situations.
Moreover
,
teachers
and
especially
schoolmates
really
make
a huge impact on how a child behaves towards others
as well
as his
parents
do,
because
many
children
think
that
teachers
and friends are always right.

In my opinion,
other
home and school affect a child’s behaviors, as both are the places where he spends the most of his childhood in and
that is
the time when his characters
are shaped
. He doesn’t know what is right or
wrong
, the
only
thing he knows is to observe
people
around him and act like them. If
parents
,
teachers
and friends can form
good
members of the community,
so
will this child.

In conclusion
, I believe that
parents
and
teachers
should give
children
lessons on how to be a
good
person,
as well
as
children
should be in an environment in which everyone around them have
positive
influences on them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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