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Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opi v.5

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opi v. 5
It is commonly thought that disadvantages of using computers is more than its advantages. Although, some people are still disagree with this idea which they believe it has many benefits that would improve the human abilities in any levels. Nowadays we can find computers in every place, It has brought lots of convenient to our life. For example when the people are at home or work they can check out the availability of many things such as tickets, hotels or even the weather easily. On the other hand this is an enormous source of information in any fields included science, politics arts, mathematics and so on. In addition every one can access it in each places with the minimum equipment. As a result computers are a useful device in our world but under condition of using it in the correct way. If the people could not manage the duration of time to spend with this device as soon as imagine they would be faced with suffering of different kind of physical pains which would be a big obstacle in following years.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that disadvantages of using computers is more than its advantages.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which they believe it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the human abilities in any levels.

Nowadays we can find computers in every place, It has brought lots of convenient to our life.

For example
when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are at home or work they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out the availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as tickets, hotels or even the weather
easily
.

On the other hand
this is an enormous source of information in any fields included science, politics arts, mathematics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
every one can access it in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "place"?
places
with the minimum equipment.

As a result
computers are a useful device in our world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
under condition of using it in the correct way.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could not manage the duration of time to spend with this device as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as imagine they would
be faced
with
The usual preposition for this expression is "from" or "with." Did you mean "suffering from" or "suffering with"?
suffering of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of physical pains which would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
obstacle in following years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opi v. 5

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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