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Some people think that animal testing to advance medical research for human use is necessary. Others think it is not right. Discuss both of these views and give you own opinion. v.2

Some people think that animal testing to advance medical research for human use is necessary. Others think it is not right. v. 2
Some people hold the opinion that advance medical research has become mandatory for human bodies by testing on animals, while rest of the people says this is not good. In my opinion, testing on animals and research need to be conducted for the betterment of medical sectors, alongside research and testing is the only way to find best solution. To begin with, I would like to outline the advantages of animal testing to escalate advance medical research for the improvement of human lives that eventually will be worthwhile in future for the people. Furthermore, thousand of diseases are existing around the globe which could not be tested on human body owing high risk factor of death, as well as most of the diseases was found in last couple of decades that took much longer time to reach the conclusion which could not be experimented else animals. One of the obvious benefits of testing on animals is that by farming people can increases the quantity of animals accordingly in case of shortage. Moreover, every doctors and researchers need something to experiment on new diseases to find the better solution for the nation which is the need of every country. On the other hand, it has many adverse consequences if people are conducting research on those animals which are less in quantity as well as they called national animal of the country. For instance, the Pakistan national animal name is " Markhoor" which is less in quantity and government does not allow anyone to take this animal for research. In many countries villages has become tourist place due to bulk quantity of the animals wherein people came from across the work just like South Africa. In conclusion, advance medical research is much important in order to find best solution for the human' s body but, on the other hand government need to focus and form the criteria of utilizing these animals for research, along with this, stern steps need to be taken against those people who hunts animals for the enjoyments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion that advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has become mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
bodies by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, while rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
says this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be conducted
for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sectors, alongside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
A determiner is probably missing here: "find the best".
find best
solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I would like to outline the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
to escalate advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that
eventually
will be worthwhile in future for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of diseases are existing around the globe which could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body owing high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor of death,
as well
as most of the diseases
was found
in last couple of decades that took much longer time to reach the conclusion which could not
be experimented
else
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. One of the obvious benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is that by farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
accordingly
in case of shortage.
Moreover
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "doctor"?
doctors
and researchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
something to experiment on new diseases to find the better solution for the nation which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of every country.

On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse consequences if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
as well
as they called national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
of the country.
For instance
, the Pakistan national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Markhoor&quot
; which is less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone to take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries villages has become tourist place due to bulk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
wherein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came from across the work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like South Africa.

In conclusion
, advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to
A determiner is probably missing here: "find the best".
find best
solution for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
on the other hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus and form the criteria of utilizing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, along with this, stern steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taken
against those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "hunt"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
hunts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the enjoyments.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic Some people think that animal testing to advance medical research for human use is necessary. Others think it is not right. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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