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The tables below show the value of Australia's trade with China, the USA and Japan from 2012-2015 in billions of Australian dollars. v.2

The tables below show the value of Australia's trade with China, the USA and Japan from 2012-2015 in billions of Australian dollars. v. 2
The tables depict the four-year trade values made between Australia and three other countries namely, China, the United States and Japan. The units are measured in Australian dollars. The imports made with China fluctuated markedly while the exports steadily decreased by the end of the period. The imports began at $2. 75 billion in 2012 and peaked at $4 billion in 2013. The trade severely declined at $1. 75 billion in the year 2014 only to regain $1 billion by 2015. Meanwhile, exports substantially experienced a loss of $2 billion. It started at $4. 74 billion decreasing slightly year after year until it reached only $2. 75 billion. When it comes to the United States, both the imports and exports made in four years declined consistently. Initially, $7 billion worth of imports were collected in 2012. The downward trajectory went on with the succeeding years until it ended at only $4. 75 billion. In a similar way, exports started with $3. 75 billion in 2012 and plateaued in 2013. The trade value fell marginally after a year and settled at $3 billion by the end of the period. Imports made with Japan increased overall at end of the period whilst the exports had a gradual and steady fall. In 2012, $4. 25 billion worth of imports were accumulated. It fell slightly by $ 0. 5 the following year but regained and topped the value with $5. 75 billion in 2 years straight. In contrast, the exports had a total loss of $1. 25 billion, from $2. 75 billion in 2012 to only $1. 5 billion in 2015.
The tables depict the four-year trade values made between Australia and three other countries
namely
, China, the United States and Japan. The units
are measured
in Australian dollars.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
made with China fluctuated
markedly
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
steadily
decreased by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
began at $2. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2012 and peaked at $4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2013. The trade
severely
declined at $1. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2014
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to regain $1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
by 2015. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
substantially
experienced a loss of $2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at $4. 74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
decreasing
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
until it reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
$2. 75 billion.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the United States, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
made in four years declined
consistently
.
Initially
, $7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
were collected
in 2012. The downward trajectory went on with the succeeding years until it ended at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
$4. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
Consider replacing "In a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar way
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with $3. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2012 and plateaued in 2013. The trade value fell
marginally
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and settled at $3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Imports made with Japan increased
overall
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
had a gradual and steady fall. In 2012, $4. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
were accumulated
. It fell
slightly
by
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$0".
$ 0
. 5 the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
regained and topped the value with $5. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2 years straight.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
had a total loss of $1. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, from $2. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2012 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
$1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2015.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The tables below show the value of Australia's trade with China, the USA and Japan from 2012-2015 in billions of Australian dollars. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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