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Some people say that computer games are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people say that computer games are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children’s development. v. 2
Computer games are dominating as the best source of amusement in this high-tech era. Presently, some proportion of masses asserts that computer games tend to corrupt the minds of children. On the flip side, these games are supposed to be lucrative for overall development of a child. Here, I would account for both sides with my own perception. These are manifold points to shore up former view. First and foremost, these games, now a days are responsible to make children lethargic. For example, kids spend most of their leisure time sitting in front of computer screens, laptops, mobiles and soon while playing thrilling games and therefore they do not indulge in any kind of physical activity. Consequently, a child’s excessive to such games makes him a victim of various health hazards such as obesity, weak visions, eye strain. Adding to it, the general themes of video games are violence, ferocity and destruction of mankind which could be perilous for emotional health of kids. Thus, computer games are detrimental unquestionably. On the contrary, others have contracting views. Numerous points can be put down to support the latter view. Initially, video games give children’s brain a real work-out. To be specific, they have to explore numerous ideas while crossing difficult stages of games in order to win. Hence they tend to develop high-level thinking which makes them more creative and skillful. What is more, games such as chess, su-do-ku and scrabbles are beyond doubt, fruitful to improve academic performances. A side from that, a child becomes quick decision maker under the influence of strategy games. As a result, computer and video games contribute remarkably in the development of children. From my notion, both aspects possess their own significance. Undeniably, computer games act as stepping stones in the progression of a child. However, the rampant use of these games may disrupt the lives of kind. It is well renowned axiom, “excess of everything is bad in itself”. So, these games must be played under parental restrictions so that its damaging effects can be curbed. To recapitulate, these games have their own pros and cons; hence, one must invest time in these games wisely.
Computer
games
are dominating as the best source of amusement in this high-tech era.
Presently
,
some
proportion of masses asserts that computer
games
tend to corrupt the minds of children. On the flip side, these
games
are supposed
to be lucrative for
overall
development of a
child
. Here, I would account for both sides with my
own
perception.

These are manifold points to shore up former view.
First
and foremost, these
games
,
now a days
are responsible to
make
children lethargic.
For example
, kids spend most of their leisure time sitting in front of computer screens, laptops, mobiles and
soon
while playing thrilling
games
and
therefore
they do not indulge in any kind of physical activity.
Consequently
, a
child’s
excessive to such
games
makes
him a victim of various health hazards such as obesity, weak visions, eye strain. Adding to it, the general themes of video
games
are violence, ferocity and destruction of mankind which could be perilous for emotional health of kids.
Thus
, computer
games
are detrimental
unquestionably
.
On the contrary
, others have contracting views.

Numerous points can
be put
down to support the latter view.
Initially
, video
games
give children’s brain a real work-out. To be specific, they
have to
explore numerous
ideas
while crossing difficult stages of
games
in order to win.
Hence
they tend to develop high-level thinking which
makes
them more creative and skillful.
What is more
,
games
such as chess,
su-do-ku
and scrabbles are beyond doubt, fruitful to
improve
academic performances. A side from that, a
child
becomes quick decision maker under the influence of strategy
games
.
As a result
, computer and video
games
contribute
remarkably
in the development of children.

From my notion, both aspects possess their
own
significance.
Undeniably
, computer
games
act as stepping stones in the progression of a
child
.
However
, the rampant
use
of these
games
may disrupt the
lives
of kind. It is well renowned axiom, “excess of everything is
bad
in itself”.
So
, these
games
must
be played
under parental restrictions
so
that its damaging effects can
be curbed
.

To recapitulate, these
games
have their
own
pros and cons;
hence
, one
must
invest time in these
games
wisely
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic Some people say that computer games are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children’s development. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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