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Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. v. 6
It is commonly said that parents should put limitations on playing computer games and watching television for their children, engaging them to read more books. In this essay I agree with that notion and in my opinion, books are more beneficial for children than the electronic devices. On the one hand, computers and television are essential components of any modern individual regardless of the age. TV programmes may contain irreplacable contents of information as part of self education. For example, a program teaching a child Italian language can be incredibly valuable for a family that moved from the USA to Italy with a child who needs basic knowledge in Italian. As for computers, these pieces of technology are undoubtedly incredible tools to gain necessary information from Internet. However, both devices can have negative effects on child, such as affecting on shortsighedness or becoming an addiction for him. Meanwhile, books can lead to many positive changes in the child’s development. Firstly, reading develops imganation. Children subconciously transform the textual information into imaginary reality, creating their own world full of facts and personalities. As a matter of fact, language knolegde is also enriched through reading. Because books contain mainly literary texts, the grammatical skills and vocabulary are developed in a child’s brain. What is more, the positive literary heroes become role models for children, improving their moral and ethical values. To sum up, it can be reiterated that although computer games and television can be useful tools for children, du to their negative effects on child’s development in case of overusage, they should be limited and replaced by reading.
It is
commonly
said that parents should put limitations on playing computer games and watching television for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, engaging them to read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In this essay I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that notion and in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than the electronic devices.

On the one hand, computers and television are essential components of any modern individual regardless of the age. TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
may contain
Possible spelling mistake found.
irreplacable
contents of information as part of self education.
For example
, a program teaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Italian language can be
incredibly
valuable for a family that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from the USA to Italy with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who needs basic knowledge in Italian. As for computers, these pieces of technology are
undoubtedly
incredible tools to gain necessary information from Internet.
However
, both devices can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, such as affecting on
Possible spelling mistake found.
shortsighedness
or becoming an addiction for him.

Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
development.
Firstly
, reading develops
Possible spelling mistake found.
imganation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Possible spelling mistake found.
subconciously
transform the textual information into imaginary reality, creating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world full of facts and personalities. As a matter of fact, language
Possible spelling mistake found.
knolegde
is
also
enriched through reading.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
contain
mainly
literary texts, the grammatical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and vocabulary
are developed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
brain.
What is more
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
literary heroes become role models for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, improving their moral and ethical values.

To sum up, it can
be reiterated
that although computer games and television can be useful tools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
du
to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
development in case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
overusage
, they should
be limited
and replaced by reading.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. v. 6

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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