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some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.11

some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 11
Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge. Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable. On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming. This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully. For example, film editing is a hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before I became competent at this activity, but now I enjoy it much more then I did when I started. I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater. In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are
relatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
, while others present more of a challenge.
Personally
, I believe that both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
can be fun, and I
therefore
disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
. One example of an activity
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
swimming. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
that I find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
activity


On the other hand
, difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it
successfully
.
For example
, film editing is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I became competent at this activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I enjoy it much more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
I did when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion
, simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can be fun and relaxing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can be
equally
pleasurable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 11

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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