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The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who are able to read and write in the different regions of the world and the world average in 2004. v.2

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who are able to read and write in the different regions of the world and the world average in 2004. v. 2
Given is the graph illustrating the proportion of literal people in 7 worldwide regions compared to the world average in 2004. It is clear that the number of men who had literacy in region 6 was the highest. By contrast, women in region 2 were the category receiving the least expenditure. To embark on, region 6 was the category having the largest men who are able to read and write, at about 70%, while, the figure for world average, region 5 and region 7 was significantly lower, at 65%. However, the rest of the regions did not have the percentage which was over 60%, especially, region 4 made up the smallest proportion, at 47%. For region 6, the proportion of women having knowledge was also highest among 8 areas, at 63%. World average accounted for 57%, at the same time, 41%, 43%, 45% were the category for region 1, region 4, region 5, and region 6 respectively. The figure for region 2 was the lowest, at only 38%.
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Given
is the graph illustrating the proportion of literal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 7 worldwide
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regions
compared to the world average in 2004.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who had literacy in
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region
6 was the highest. By contrast, women in
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region
2 were the category receiving the least expenditure.

To embark on,
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region
6 was the category having the largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who are able to read and write, at about 70%, while, the figure for world average,
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region
5 and
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region
7 was
significantly
lower, at 65%.
However
, the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
did not have the percentage which was over 60%,
especially
,
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region
4 made up the smallest proportion, at 47%.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
6, the proportion of women having knowledge was
also
highest among 8 areas, at 63%. World average accounted for 57%, at the same time, 41%, 43%, 45% were the category for
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region
1,
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region
4,
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region
5, and
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region
6
respectively
. The figure for
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region
2 was the lowest, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
38%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who are able to read and write in the different regions of the world and the world average in 2004. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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