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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v.25

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 25
Developed countries have been providing financial aid to the third world countries for decades, but it has not changed the economic situation of the poor countries. I totally agree that this aid should be replaced by other more effective types of help and I will discuss the reasons in the paragraphs below. The primary reason why the financial aid provided by the first world countries is not being effective in achieving the results they are intended to achieve is because of the level of corruption prevalent in these poor countries. The major portion of the aid is taken by the officials before it trickles down to the people. As most of these leaders are not democratically elected and have a strong grip on power, people have little leverage to change this and hence they benefit less and their situations remain unchanged. The second reason why this financial aid is not effective is because the governments which are the recipients of this assistance do not have sound economic policies and good governance in place. This means that these governments are not capable of managing the funds properly and the aid will be lost or misused before it reaches the people. Therefore, ensuring governments are capable of managing the funds before they receive them is crucial in achieving positive outcomes from this financial aid. In conclusion, I believe financial aid is often misused by recipient countries due to corruption and financial mismanagement. Therefore, other types of support should be given to these countries.
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have been providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the economic situation of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
should
be replaced
by other more effective types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and I will discuss the reasons in the paragraphs below.

The primary reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
provided by the
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is not being effective in achieving the results they
are intended
to achieve is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the level of corruption prevalent in these poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The major portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is taken
by the officials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it trickles down to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As most of these leaders are not
democratically
elected and have a strong grip on power,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
leverage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this and
hence
they benefit less and their situations remain unchanged.

The second reason why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is not effective is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
which are the recipients of this assistance do not have sound economic policies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
governance in place. This means that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are not capable of managing the funds
properly
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
will
be lost
or misused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it reaches the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, ensuring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are capable of managing the funds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they receive them is crucial in achieving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
misused by recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to corruption and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
mismanagement.
Therefore
, other types of support should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 25

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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