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For a class assignment, you have been asked to write a description of how plastic is produced and then broken down. Using the information in the diagram, write a description of the cycle. v.2

For a class assignment, you have been asked to write a description of how plastic is produced and then broken down. Using the information in the diagram, write a description of the cycle. v. 2
The diagram illustrates the process of making plastic as well as the various ways of disposing it. At the beginning state of production, the cereal crops are harvested and brought to the factory as the raw material. The glucose which is extracted from cereal crops goes to the Bacterial fermentation chamber. After the fermentation process, the PHB polymer is produced and it is used for the production of plastic bottles (shampoos and detergents) in the final step of the production line. There are three methods using for breaking down the plastic. The most effective way is to recycle it after usage. Or it also can be buried in the landfill. However, the oxidation products released very slow into the atmosphere. Another way is that it will be treated as biodegrades or burns. This method will release the carbon dioxide in into atmosphere and play a role to support the growth of cereal crops. And a new cycle begins. Overall, there is a mutually supportive relationship between the production of plastic and the ways we dispose it. Plastic manufacturers should pay attention to this connection to maximize the profits and benefits.
The diagram illustrates the process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
as well
as the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of disposing it.

At the beginning state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, the cereal crops
are harvested
and brought to the factory as the raw material. The glucose which
is extracted
from cereal crops goes to the Bacterial fermentation chamber. After the fermentation process, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
PHB
polymer
is produced
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
bottles (shampoos and detergents) in the final step of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
line.

There are three methods using for breaking down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
. The most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
is to recycle it after usage. Or it
also
can
be buried
in the landfill.
However
, the oxidation products released
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow into the atmosphere. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
is that it will
be treated
as biodegrades or burns. This method will release the carbon dioxide in into atmosphere and play a role to support the growth of cereal crops. And a new cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
.

Overall
, there is a
mutually
supportive relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
we dispose it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
manufacturers should pay attention to this connection to maximize the profits and benefits.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS academic For a class assignment, you have been asked to write a description of how plastic is produced and then broken down. Using the information in the diagram, write a description of the cycle. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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