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pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v.2

pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v. 2
the pie chart explain about man and women fitness membership between 1970 and 2000. Data describe of number Data fitness membership women and men in 1970 to 2000 is fluctuate, but chap had high interest compared bag. Starting in 1970, people had joined fitness was having 1000 women and 2000 men. Next, both 1970 and 1975 feminine and male follow gym had same sharply increase 100%. Women was beginning 1000 to 2000. then, fellow 2000 to 4000. next t in 1980, amount people follow sport activity dip. if women around 1800 then man around 2500 members. furthermore, During the period 1980 to 1985 the chart saw a grow member in gym around 1800 to 2800 from women. in contract, member of men a reduce around 2500 to 1800. Afterwards the number of member two gender had sameness data circa 2000 people in 1990. but, men fitness membership in 1995 very large increase amount 2000 to 5000 and women round 2000 to 2800. finally, there was a significant decrease member of gym from 5000 to 1000 man, and 2800 to 2000 women.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
membership between 1970 and 2000. Data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
number


Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
membership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in 1970 to 2000 is
Consider using a past participle here: "fluctuated".
fluctuate
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
chap had high interest compared bag.

Starting in 1970,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
was having 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Next
, both 1970 and 1975 feminine and male follow gym had same
sharply
increase 100%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
was
beginning 1000 to 2000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
, fellow 2000 to 4000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
next
t in 1980, amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow sport activity dip.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
1800 then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
2500 members.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, During the period 1980 to 1985 the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
The word 'grow' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "growth"?
grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
in gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
1800 to 2800 from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
contract,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
2500 to 1800. Afterwards the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gender' seems to be countable, so consider using: "genders".
gender
had sameness data circa 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 1990.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
membership in 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large increase amount 2000 to 5000 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
round 2000 to 2800.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, there was a significant decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of gym from 5000 to 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, and 2800 to 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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