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The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v.2

The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v. 2
The pie charts compare the goods sold from Argentina, Chile, and Mexico to four regions (USA, Europe, other Latin region, and the rest of the world) during 2004. At first glance, it is noticeable that the united states accounted for the largest proportion of exports from Argentina and Mexico, whereas Chile sold most of its merchandises to ' other region' . For Argentina, the United States was the most important export market, accounting for more than two-fifths of the total export, while the figure for chile was half of that, at 21%. Chile' s biggest export market was the rest of the world, except the USA, Europe, and other Latin countries, at 36 per cent, which was close to the export from Argentina to the same region (31%). The percentages of products go to Europe from those two countries are nearly the same as well, being 18% and 19% respectively. By contrast, exports to other Latin territories made up nearly a quarter of the total of chile while only one-tenth of that of Argentina. A completely different pattern can be seen in Mexico, with the bulk of goods being exported to America (87%) and the other three categories made up the remaining 13 per cent.
The pie charts compare the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
sold from Argentina, Chile, and Mexico to four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
(USA, Europe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Latin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
, and the rest of the world) during 2004. At
first
glance, it is noticeable that the
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
accounted for the largest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
from Argentina and Mexico, whereas Chile sold most of its merchandises to '
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
region&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


For Argentina, the United States was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
market, accounting for more than two-fifths of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
, while the figure for
Possible spelling mistake found.
chile
was half of that, at 21%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chile&
#039; s biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
market was the rest of the world, except the USA, Europe, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Latin countries, at 36 per cent, which was close to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
from Argentina to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
(31%). The percentages of products go to Europe from those two countries are
nearly
the same
as well
, being 18% and 19%
respectively
. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Latin territories made up
nearly
a quarter of the total of
Possible spelling mistake found.
chile
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-tenth of that of Argentina.

A completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Mexico, with the bulk of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
being exported
to America (87%) and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
three categories made up the remaining 13 per cent.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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