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the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v.2

the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 2
The given bar chart illustrates a substantial discrepancy of the number of marriages and divorces the percentage of marital status of men and women Americans over the 30-year period, 1970 and 2000. Overall, it is remarkable that the year 1970 and 1980 accounted for the highest of marriages in comparison with the others. Besides, the percentage of Americans getting divorced was the lowest at that time. Regarding the first bar chart, there are similar numbers of marriages, moreover, not only was they constitute 2. 5 million people but they also were the highest. Meanwhile, the number of divorces in 1980 was twice lower than that of marriages that occupied 2. 5 million. With regard to the divorces and marriages, there was an downward trend, except the figure of divorces 1970 followed an opposite trend. As far as the second bar chart is concerned, the percentage of men and women getting married stood at 70% and 60% in 1970 and 2000 respectively, which was the highest. By contrast, the lowest was under 10% of the proportion of adults getting divorced in 1970, whereas, that of widowed in 2000 made up the lowest with nearly 10%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates a substantial discrepancy of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
the percentage of marital status of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women Americans over the 30-year period, 1970 and 2000.

Overall
, it is remarkable that the year 1970 and 1980 accounted for the highest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
in comparison
with the others.
Besides
, the percentage of Americans getting divorced was the lowest at that time.

Regarding the
first
bar chart, there are similar numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
,
moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was they constitute 2. 5 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
were the highest. Meanwhile, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
in 1980 was twice lower than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
that occupied 2. 5 million. With regard to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
, there was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward trend, except the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorces
1970 followed an opposite trend.

As far as the second bar chart
is concerned
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women getting married stood at 70% and 60% in 1970 and 2000
respectively
, which was the highest. By contrast, the lowest was under 10% of the proportion of adults getting divorced in 1970, whereas, that of widowed in 2000 made up the lowest with
nearly
10%.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic the charts below show information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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