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WRITING TASK 1You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar graph below shows the numbers of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia in the year 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make co v.6

WRITING TASK 1 The bar graph below shows the numbers of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia in the year 2003.
The bar chart provides information about the quantity of males and females employed in various types of jobs in Australia in 2003. It is evident that the number of employed people by job type varied significantly between men and women. Clerical work had the most employees of all types. For men, the highest figures were for tradepersons and clerical work, with almost 900000 people each type. There was 650000 men employed as professionals, which is closely followed by managers (about 610000 people). Further down the list was semi professionals and production sector with around 500000 employees. Labourers had attracted the least number of male workers with only 400000 people. For women, the trend was nearly similar with that of men, with most females being employed as clerks (about 950000 people), 50000 more than that of men. Having the second highest number of employees was professionals with 700000 people. This was followed in turn by semi professionals and managers ( 380000 and 200000 people respectively). The least number of females working as tradepersons and in production sector with 100000 each.
The bar chart provides information about the quantity of males and females
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employed
in various types of jobs in Australia in 2003. It is evident that the
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number
of
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employed
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people
by job type varied
significantly
between
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men
and women. Clerical work had the most employees of all types.

For
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men
, the highest figures were for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tradepersons
and clerical work, with almost 900000
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people
each type. There was 650000
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men
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employed
as
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professionals
, which is
closely
followed by managers (about 610000
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people)
.
Further
down the list was semi
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professionals
and production sector with around 500000 employees.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Labourers
had attracted the least
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number
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
male
workers with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
400000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

For women, the trend was
nearly
similar with that of
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men
, with most females being
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employed
as clerks (about 950000
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people)
, 50000 more than that of
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men
. Having the second highest
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number
of employees was
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professionals
with 700000
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people
. This
was followed
in turn by semi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
and managers
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
380000 and 200000
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people
respectively
). The least
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number
of females working as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tradepersons
and in production sector with 100000 each.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic WRITING TASK 1 The bar graph below shows the numbers of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia in the year 2003.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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