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Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v.2

Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v. 2
Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. In my opinion, it is necessary for them to contribute to the community, however, these kinds of activites should not be compulsory. On the one hand, since students are part of society, it is their responsibilities to help others who are struggling with their lives. Doing this kind of service not only helps students understand more about the community in which they live but also helps them gain lifeexperiences and decreases the distanceamong different classes. It is a good way for them to be atributed to the society. On the other hand, I would argue that community service should not be compulsory to every student, as some of them may also have difficulties, for example, physical disabilities or financial issues, which doesn’t allow them to partcipate in these activities. Moreover, since it is called ‘community service’, in other words it is ‘voluntary work’, students should not be forced to do this but make their own decisions. I pesonally believe that teachers should let their students organize their own projects that aim to help people and support them with their activites, withoutimposing any rules or demands on them. In conclusion, although serving the society is important to students, when it comes to ‘compulsory programme’, it should be considered carefully under the personal circumtances of all students.
Some
people
hold a view that high school
students
must
do
community
work as a mandatory part of their study program. In my opinion, it is necessary for them to contribute to the
community
,
however
, these kinds of
activites
should not be compulsory.

On the one hand, since
students
are part of society, it is their responsibilities to
help
others who are struggling with their
lives
. Doing this kind of service not
only
helps
students
understand more about the
community
in which they
live
but
also
helps
them gain
lifeexperiences
and decreases the
distanceamong
different
classes. It is a
good
way for them to be
atributed
to the society.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
community
service should not be compulsory to every
student
, as
some
of them may
also
have difficulties,
for example
, physical disabilities or financial issues, which doesn’t
allow
them to
partcipate
in these activities.
Moreover
, since it
is called
‘community
service’,
in other words
it is ‘voluntary work’,
students
should not
be forced
to do this
but
make
their
own
decisions. I
pesonally
believe that teachers should
let
their
students
organize their
own
projects that aim to
help
people
and support them with their
activites
,
withoutimposing
any
rules
or demands on them.

In conclusion
, although serving the society is
important
to
students
, when it
comes
to ‘compulsory
programme
’, it should
be considered
carefully
under the personal
circumtances
of all
students
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS academic Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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