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Jenny is conducting a research project on cell phone use. The chart shows the percentage of students, and parents of students, at Jenny’s school who owned cell phone over a 14 year period. The table provides the cell phone ownership rate nationwide ov v.2

Jenny is conducting a research project on cell phone use. The chart shows the percentage of students, and parents of students, at Jenny’s school who owned cell phone over a 14 year period. The table provides the cell phone ownership rate nationwide ov v. 2
The line graph represents the percentage of students and their parents owning cell phones, at Jenny' s school from 2002 to 2016 and the table gives information about the percentage of people owning cell phone nationwide in three different years based on Jenny' s survey results. Overall, cell phone owners were raising every subsequent year. Parents owning cell phones increased consistently as the year pass, nevertheless, there was a noticeable increase has been observed in students owning cellphones. Additionally, the percentage of people owning cellphones also raised rapidly. On the one hand, parents owning cellphones was around 48% in 2002 increased in a stable way and reached more than 80% in 2016. On the other hand, growth in students owning cell phones vary, although it was 2% in 2002 and increased consistently for 4 years, a considerable increase was seen and by 2012 it reached about 24%. However, Students owning cell phones skyrocketed after 2012 and reached 74% by 2016. Increase in nationwide cellphone ownership percentage also increased rapidly. Moreover, 60% of people own a cellphone in 2002. Interestingly, only 4% do not own a cell phone by 2016.
The line graph represents the
percentage
of
students
and their parents
owning
cell
phones
, at
Jenny&
#039; s school from 2002 to 2016 and the table gives information about the
percentage
of
people
owning
cell
phone
nationwide in three
different
years based on
Jenny&
#039; s survey results.

Overall
,
cell
phone
owners were raising every subsequent
year
. Parents
owning
cell
phones
increased
consistently
as the
year
pass,
nevertheless
, there was a noticeable increase has
been observed
in
students
owning
cellphones.
Additionally
, the
percentage
of
people
owning
cellphones
also
raised
rapidly
.

On the one hand, parents
owning
cellphones was around 48% in 2002
increased
in a stable way
and reached more than 80% in 2016.
On the other hand
, growth in
students
owning
cell
phones
vary, although it was 2% in 2002 and
increased
consistently
for 4 years, a considerable increase was
seen
and by 2012 it reached about 24%.
However
,
Students
owning
cell
phones
skyrocketed after 2012 and reached 74% by 2016.

Increase in nationwide cellphone ownership
percentage
also
increased
rapidly
.
Moreover
, 60% of
people
own
a cellphone in 2002.
Interestingly
,
only
4% do not
own
a
cell
phone
by 2016.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic Jenny is conducting a research project on cell phone use. The chart shows the percentage of students, and parents of students, at Jenny’s school who owned cell phone over a 14 year period. The table provides the cell phone ownership rate nationwide ov v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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