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The chart and the table show the rates of cell phone ownership for three groups: students at Jenny school, parents of those students and nationwide. v. 2

The chart and the table show the rates of cell phone ownership for three groups: students at Jenny school, parents of those students and nationwide. The students are the most interesting group. Trought 2002-2016 the ownership of cellphone had abruptly increased. In the beggining of the period the cell phones almost non exist, by 2010 the rates was 20%, but between 2012 and 2016, it jump up 50 points of percentage. Another group with a improvement in his cell phone ownership is the natiowide. In 2002 the 60% of population had their own devices, for the 2010 this grow up to a 85%, and for the 2016, almost all the populations had one. The flunctuation in those 14 years reached 36%. However, the group which increase slowly was the parents. From 2002 to 2016 the variation was 30%. Nevertheless, this group begun with a 50% of ownership, being in the top of the chart for 2002. The use for 2016 was an 80%. Overall, the cell phone ownership have increased over the years, showing a masification on the use of technology. Actually, each person in the nation have a cellphone.

IELTS academic The chart and the table show the rates of cell phone ownership for three groups: students at Jenny school, parents of those students and nationwide. v.2

The chart and the table
show
the rates of
cell
phone
ownership
for three
groups
: students at Jenny school, parents of those students and nationwide. The students are the most interesting
group
.
Trought
2002-2016 the
ownership
of cellphone had
abruptly
increased. In the
beggining
of the period the
cell
phones
almost non exist, by 2010 the rates was 20%,
but
between 2012 and 2016, it
jump
up 50 points of percentage. Another
group
with
a
improvement in his
cell
phone
ownership
is the
natiowide
. In 2002 the 60% of population had their
own
devices, for the 2010
this grow
up to
a
85%, and for the 2016, almost all the populations had one. The
flunctuation
in those 14 years reached 36%.
However
, the
group
which increase
slowly
was the parents. From 2002 to 2016 the variation was 30%.
Nevertheless
, this
group
begun with a 50% of
ownership
, being in the top of the chart for 2002. The
use
for 2016 was an 80%.
Overall
, the
cell
phone
ownership
have increased over the years, showing a
masification
on the
use
of technology. Actually, each person in the nation have a cellphone.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Academic
5 paragraphs
190 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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