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Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v.7

Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v. 7
The graph depicts a comparison of acid level in mouth after consuming sugar/honey. One axis of the graph contains PH level which measures acidic level and the other axis reflects timeline after consuming, spaced out equally with 5 minutes gap. As per the graph, tooth decay starts when the PH level falls beneath 5. 5 on the scale and it is quite clear that PH level falls rapidly after consuming all three commodities. To start with, the PH level in our mouth is at 7 and begins to decline after consuming each item and the rate at which it falls is maximum in case of cane sugar. It crosses the danger level within a span of 5 minutes and by the end of 5 minutes, PH level reaches its lowest point in case of cane sugar i. e. 3. 5 and the same for fruit sugar and honey, which are 4. 25 and 4. 75 respectively. After 5 minutes has elapsed, the trend line tends to be inverted and from here on the PH level initiate its recovery in case of fruit/cane sugar though it remains at its lowest in the case of honey for a further 5 minute-period. On reaching 10 minute-mark, PH level in case of honey seems to recover at brisk pace taking over the recovery of other items and reaching the safe zone within a span of 15 minutes. Fruit sugar PH level crosses the line before 20 minutes but cane sugar PH level took almost double the time of honey to recover from tooth decay. Honey PH level normalise by the end of 25 minute's mark and the same is 32 minutes and 40 minutes in case of fruit sugar and cane sugar respectively.
The graph depicts a comparison of acid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in mouth after consuming sugar/honey. One axis of the graph contains PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
which measures acidic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
and the other axis reflects timeline after consuming, spaced out
equally
with 5 minutes gap. As per the graph, tooth decay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
when the PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
falls beneath 5. 5 on the scale and it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
falls
rapidly
after consuming all three commodities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in our mouth is at 7 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to decline after consuming each item and the rate at which it falls is maximum in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. It crosses the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
within a span of 5 minutes and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 5 minutes, PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
reaches its lowest point in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
3. 5 and the same for fruit
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sugar
and honey, which are 4. 25 and 4. 75
respectively
. After 5 minutes has elapsed, the trend line tends to
be inverted
and from here on the PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
initiate its recovery in case of fruit/cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
though it remains at its lowest in the case of honey for a
further
5 minute-period. On reaching 10 minute-mark, PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in case of honey seems to recover at brisk pace taking over the recovery of other items and reaching the safe zone within a span of 15 minutes. Fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
PH
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level
crosses the line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
20 minutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
PH
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level
took almost double the time of honey to recover from tooth decay. Honey PH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
Possible spelling mistake. 'normalise' is British English.
normalise
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 25
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (25). Did you mean "minutes" or "minutes'"?
minute's
mark and the same is 32 minutes and 40 minutes in case of fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v. 7

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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