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Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v.5

Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v. 5
The given line graph gives information on the amount of acid produced in our mouth by eating sugar and honey made from three different resources namely fruit, sugarcane and honey. Also, the graph estimates the time taken by them to reach different acid levels which are related to the tooth decay. The maximum level of acidity produced by sugar content is reached 5 minutes after consuming them reaching up to 3. 5 pH for sugarcane, 4 pH for fruit sugar and 5 pH for honey. After this time the acidity level declines for cane and fruit sugar, whereas it is sustained for 10 minutes for honey. Honey takes approximately 15 minutes to reach the pH of 5. 5. It is at this pH at which tooth decay is unlikely. Fruit sugar takes 20 minutes and cane sugar takes the maximum time to reach this safety level. After 40 minutes all three sugars reach neutral pH that is 7. Acidity promotes tooth decay which results in teeth cavities. Proper brushing and mouth washing can eliminate sugar particles and may protect teeth from the hazards of high acid levels. From the given data it is clear that cane sugar has the highest acidity and its acid content above safety level is sustained for the longest period in our mouth. Therefore it should be avoided. Honey is the safest sugary food which causes least chances of tooth decay.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph gives information on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acid
produced in our mouth by eating
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sugar
and honey made from three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources
namely
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fruit
, sugarcane and honey.
Also
, the graph estimates the time taken by them to
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reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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acid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
which
are related
to the tooth decay.

The maximum
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level
of acidity produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content
is reached
5 minutes after consuming them reaching up to 3. 5 pH for sugarcane, 4 pH for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and 5 pH for honey. After this time the acidity
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level
declines for cane and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, whereas it
is sustained
for 10 minutes for honey. Honey takes approximately 15 minutes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the pH of 5. 5. It is at this pH at which tooth decay is unlikely.
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Fruit
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sugar
takes 20 minutes and cane
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sugar
takes the maximum time to
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reach
this safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
40 minutes all three
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sugars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
neutral pH
that is
7.

Acidity promotes tooth decay which results in teeth cavities. Proper brushing and mouth washing can eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
particles and may protect teeth from the hazards of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acid
levels.

From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that cane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has the highest acidity and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acid
content above safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
is sustained
for the longest period in our mouth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it should
be avoided
. Honey is the safest sugary food which causes
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
chances of tooth decay.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay. (High acid levels are measured by low pH values) v. 5

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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