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Children should always follow their parents parents advice To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Children should always follow their parents parents advice with this statement v. 2
It is undeniable that family plays an important in our life. So, some people think that children should always follow their paretns' advice. However, other claim that this is not always right. I think that children should follow their parents' advice when they are young, but they should become more idependent when they are mature. On the one hand, young children do not know the difference between right and wrong, and a parent is a best person to teach them about this. For example, a young child does not know that it is wrong to take things that do not belong to them. In addition, parents can also teach children about dangers, both in the home and outside. For instance, electricity is a very dangerous thing for children. So, families should teach young children stay away from electrical euipment. On the other hand, when children grow older they shold pay less attention to their parents because they can spendmore for their friends. Parents might tell a child which career to choose and this should be the child' s decision because when they grow up, they can realise that right or wrong thing. Besides, they want to do anything what they like without follow their parents' advice. Sometimes, parents want to tell their children how to live, how to behave, but when they are grown up, they can decide for themselves. If a child make their own decisions, they might grow up to be less independent or strong. In conclusion, parents need to give young children advice on morals and satefy, but not on how to live when they are older.
It is undeniable that family plays an
important
in our life.
So
,
some
people
think
that
children
should always follow their
paretns&
#039;
advice
.
However
, other claim that this is not always right. I
think
that
children
should follow their
parents&
#039;
advice
when they are
young
,
but
they should become more
idependent
when they are mature.

On the one hand,
young
children
do not know the difference between right and
wrong
, and a
parent
is
a
best person to teach them about this.
For example
, a
young
child
does not know that it is
wrong
to take things that do not belong to them.
In addition
,
parents
can
also
teach
children
about
dangers
, both in the home and outside.
For instance
, electricity is a
very
dangerous
thing for
children
.
So
, families should teach
young
children
stay away from electrical
euipment
.

On the other hand
, when
children
grow older they
shold
pay less attention to their
parents
because
they can
spendmore
for their friends.
Parents
might
tell
a
child
which career to choose and this should be the
child&
#039; s decision
because
when they grow up, they can
realise
that right or
wrong
thing.
Besides
, they want to do anything what they like without follow their
parents&
#039;
advice
.
Sometimes
,
parents
want to
tell
their
children
how to
live
, how to behave,
but
when they
are grown
up, they can decide for themselves. If a
child
make
their
own
decisions, they might grow up to be less independent or strong.

In conclusion
,
parents
need to give
young
children
advice
on morals and
satefy
,
but
not on how to
live
when they are older.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS academic Children should always follow their parents parents advice with this statement v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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