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Children should always follow their parents parents advice To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Children should always follow their parents parents advice with this statement v. 2
It is undeniable that family plays an important in our life. So, some people think that children should always follow their paretns' advice. However, other claim that this is not always right. I think that children should follow their parents' advice when they are young, but they should become more idependent when they are mature. On the one hand, young children do not know the difference between right and wrong, and a parent is a best person to teach them about this. For example, a young child does not know that it is wrong to take things that do not belong to them. In addition, parents can also teach children about dangers, both in the home and outside. For instance, electricity is a very dangerous thing for children. So, families should teach young children stay away from electrical euipment. On the other hand, when children grow older they shold pay less attention to their parents because they can spendmore for their friends. Parents might tell a child which career to choose and this should be the child' s decision because when they grow up, they can realise that right or wrong thing. Besides, they want to do anything what they like without follow their parents' advice. Sometimes, parents want to tell their children how to live, how to behave, but when they are grown up, they can decide for themselves. If a child make their own decisions, they might grow up to be less independent or strong. In conclusion, parents need to give young children advice on morals and satefy, but not on how to live when they are older.
It is undeniable that family plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should always follow their
Possible spelling mistake found.
paretns&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
However
, other claim that this is not always right. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should follow their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should become more
Possible spelling mistake found.
idependent
when they are mature.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not know the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best person to teach them about this.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not know that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to take things that do not belong to them.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
also
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
, both in the home and outside.
For instance
, electricity is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, families should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stay away from electrical
Possible spelling mistake found.
euipment
.

On the other hand
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow older they
Possible spelling mistake found.
shold
pay less attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendmore
for their friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
which career to choose and this should be the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they grow up, they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thing.
Besides
, they want to do anything what they like without follow their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, how to behave,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they
are grown
up, they can decide for themselves. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions, they might grow up to be less independent or strong.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
on morals and
Possible spelling mistake found.
satefy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
when they are older.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS academic Children should always follow their parents parents advice with this statement v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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