Dear Mr Thompson,
I hope that you are doing well. I am writing to apologise for the inconvenience caused by the party held at our residence last Saturday night. I am hoping that you would accept my apology.
With regards to the unexpected noise, it was created by the celebration of my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. You can imagine that we wanted to make the occasion really special to commemorate our parents' 4 decades of a beautiful journey together. I went to your flat to invite your family but you were away for the week.
We invited some close friends and relatives at the party and the gathering must have created the noise. I fathom the children were shouting loudly whenever they were presented with a toy. Moreover, they were running and shouting for fun. The music was also a bit louder and we realised very late that it might disturb the neighbourhood.
In such parties, I would ensure in future that the music is kept as low as possible and arrange some fun games for children that would keep them busy and less noisy.
Once again I would like to ask for an apology.
Thanks a lot for your understanding.
Naaz Ria
Dear Mr Thompson,
I hope that you are doing well. I am writing to  
apologise
 for the inconvenience caused by the party held at our residence last Saturday night.  
I
 am hoping that you would accept my apology. 
With regards to
 the unexpected noise, it  
was created
 by the celebration of my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. You can imagine that we wanted to  
make
 the occasion  
really
 special to commemorate our parents' 4 decades of a  
beautiful
 journey together. I went to your flat to invite your family  
but
 you were away for the week.
We invited  
some
 close friends and relatives at the party and the gathering  
must
 have created the noise. I fathom the children were shouting  
loudly
 whenever they  
were presented
 with a toy.  
Moreover
, they were running and shouting for fun. The music was  
also
 a bit  
louder and
 we  
realised
  very
 late that it might disturb the  
neighbourhood
.
In such parties, I would ensure in future that the music is  
kept
 as low as possible and arrange  
some
 fun games for children that would  
keep
 them busy and less noisy.
Once again I would like to  
ask for
 an apology.
Thanks a lot for your understanding. 
Naaz
  Ria
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes