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Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat. v.6

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat. v. 6
Dear Mr Thompson, I hope that you are doing well. I am writing to apologise for the inconvenience caused by the party held at our residence last Saturday night. I am hoping that you would accept my apology. With regards to the unexpected noise, it was created by the celebration of my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. You can imagine that we wanted to make the occasion really special to commemorate our parents' 4 decades of a beautiful journey together. I went to your flat to invite your family but you were away for the week. We invited some close friends and relatives at the party and the gathering must have created the noise. I fathom the children were shouting loudly whenever they were presented with a toy. Moreover, they were running and shouting for fun. The music was also a bit louder and we realised very late that it might disturb the neighbourhood. In such parties, I would ensure in future that the music is kept as low as possible and arrange some fun games for children that would keep them busy and less noisy. Once again I would like to ask for an apology. Thanks a lot for your understanding. Naaz Ria
Dear Mr Thompson,

I hope that you are doing well. I am writing to
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
for the inconvenience caused by the party held at our residence last Saturday night.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would accept my apology.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the unexpected noise, it
was created
by the celebration of my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. You can imagine that we wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the occasion
really
special to commemorate our parents' 4 decades of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
journey together. I went to your flat to invite your family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you were away for the week.

We invited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
close friends and relatives at the party and the gathering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have created the noise. I fathom the children were shouting
loudly
whenever they
were presented
with a toy.
Moreover
, they were running and shouting for fun. The music was
also
a bit
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
louder and
we
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late that it might disturb the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.

In such parties, I would ensure in future that the music is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
as low as possible and arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun games for children that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them busy and less noisy.

Once again I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
an apology.

Thanks a lot for your understanding.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Naaz
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ria
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat. v. 6

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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