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Your brother couldn't join you on a trip that you guys planned. Write a letter to a friend inviting him to join. . explain about the trip. . explain why your brother couldn't make it. . giving details about the trip. v.2

Your brother couldn't join you on a trip that you guys planned. Write a letter to a friend inviting him to join. . explain about the trip. . explain why your brother couldn't make it. . giving details about the trip. v. 2
Dear James, I am writing to invite you for seven days trip to goa in next month as my brother would not be able to make this due to his railway job. Let me explain you my situation in detail. Though, this trip was planned 2 months ago with mutual understanding of me and my younger brother, however, yesterday he came to know that one inspection from railway ministry would be on triages in the same week. In addition, I had also paid non-refundable advance money to the Grand hotel in Goa, which is nearly half the amount of total booking. Overall, in fact, I am left with no choice in that scenario. This is why I asked you to join me as you are also like brother to me. Moreover, its have been a long time that I met you. Would you join me on the trip? The flight tickets are booked on 13th november in evening. Therefore, you need to join me on 12th november on my place. Also, take some winter clothes as there would be chilly atmosphere. I hope you will join me on this trip. Regards, Vinod Chauhan
Dear James,

I am writing to invite you for seven days trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
goa
in
next
month as my brother would not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this due to his railway job.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
you my situation in detail. Though, this trip
was planned
2 months ago with mutual understanding of me and my younger brother,
however
, yesterday he came to know that one inspection from railway ministry would be on triages in the same week.
In addition
, I had
also
paid non-refundable advance money to the Grand hotel in Goa, which is
nearly
half the amount of total booking.
Overall
, in fact, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no choice in that scenario. This is why I asked you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
me as you are
also
like brother to me.
Moreover
, its have been a long time that I met you.

Would you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
me on the trip? The flight tickets
are booked
on 13th
Possible spelling mistake found.
november
in evening.
Therefore
, you need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
me on 12th
Possible spelling mistake found.
november
on my place.
Also
, take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
winter clothes as there would be chilly atmosphere.

I hope you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
me on this trip.

Regards,

Vinod Chauhan
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS letter Your brother couldn't join you on a trip that you guys planned. Write a letter to a friend inviting him to join. . explain about the trip. . explain why your brother couldn't make it. . giving details about the trip. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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