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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v.9

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 9
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Aguinaldo Silva, working as a researcher at the University of São Paulo, Brazil for over a decade. I have read in a newspaper that you are going to organise a seminar on 'Automated Neural Networks' and I think it would be helpful for my current research. As I could not find much information online, I would request further details. I learned that the seminar will be held in next November in San Francisco, California, USA. Now, I need to know the exact date and schedule of the seminar. Another important information that I need in order to plan my trip is the exact location of the event. Since such seminars are usually very intensive, I want to know if there will be any special condition for reservations in the nearby hotels. Has Kevin Boban really confirmed his participation as a guest speaker? If it is true, that would be great news for me since my research is being driven mainly by one of his recent discoveries. Will we have a specific day to network and exchange knowledge with other participants of the event? Last year I went to the Artificial Intelligence seminar in Genebra and I felt really comfortable having an exclusive day for networking with other professionals instead of having short sessions throughout the whole event. Last but not least, I need some information about the cost and methods of payment to participate in the seminar. Hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Aguinaldo Silva
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Aguinaldo Silva, working as a researcher at the University of São Paulo, Brazil for over a decade. I have read in a newspaper that you are going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
on 'Automated Neural Networks' and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be helpful for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
research. As I could not find much information online, I would request
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

I learned that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
will
be held
in
next
November in San Francisco, California, USA.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I need to know the exact date and schedule of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information that I need in order to plan my trip is the exact location of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. Since such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminars
are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intensive, I want to know if there will be any special condition for reservations in the nearby hotels. Has Kevin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boban
really
confirmed his participation as a guest speaker? If it is true, that would be great news for me since my research is
being driven
mainly
by one of his recent discoveries.

Will we have a specific day to network and exchange knowledge with other participants of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
? Last year I went to the Artificial Intelligence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Genebra
and I felt
really
comfortable having an exclusive day for networking with other professionals
instead
of having short sessions throughout the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about the cost and methods of payment to participate in the seminar.

Hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Aguinaldo Silva
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 9

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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