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Write a letter to the principle of your college to inform him that you have joined an evening course that appears not to match its description in the college brochure. v.1

Write a letter to the principle of your college to inform him that you have joined an evening course that appears not to match its description in the college brochure. v. 1
Dear Sir, I have been joined a Computer application course in PHP two months ago in your institute. It was going really well in the beginning but after eight weeks, I realized it is not going as mentioned of the brochure. In admission brochure there was mentioned 6 steps which are related to PHP technology ie: Introduction, Implementation of PHP, Uses of conditions, If else fundamentals, benefits of PHP and Project. In my class tutors are not serious and also they taught us lessons which are out of the scope. I have mentioned them these topics are not useful for us but they denied and told me we are teaching these topics from last 2 years. I have gathered very good image of your institution and i know you will consider my request on serious note. I would like you to take serious action on the teacher who are spoiling the careers of the students. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours Faithfully, PJS
Dear Sir,

I have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a Computer application course in PHP two months ago in your institute. It was going
really
well in the beginning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after eight weeks, I realized it is not going as mentioned of the brochure. In admission brochure there
was mentioned
6 steps which
are related
to PHP technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
ie
: Introduction, Implementation of PHP,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Uses
of conditions, If else fundamentals, benefits of PHP and Project. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
tutors are not serious and
also
they taught us lessons which are out of the scope. I have mentioned them these topics are not useful for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they denied and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me we are teaching these topics from last 2 years. I have gathered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image of your institution and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know you will consider my request on serious note.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like you to take serious action on the teacher who are spoiling the careers of the students.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
Faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
PJS
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS letter Write a letter to the principle of your college to inform him that you have joined an evening course that appears not to match its description in the college brochure. v. 1

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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