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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v.2

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Swathi Reddy, currently working as a software engineer in India. I have learned about your seminar on Ethical Hacking, scheduled to be held in Sydney, Australia in December 2018, through an advertisement in a newspaper. I am planning to attend this workshop and need some further details. The seminar schedule was not mentioned in the advert. Hence, I would like to know the duration and schedule of the workshop. I would be glad if you can also give me a brief of the program: which aspects of Ethical Hacking will be covered as part of the workshop and if there will be any hands-on or will it be just a theoretical session. Please inform me how much it would cost to book my seat. Lastly, as I will be travelling from India, I would like to know about the accommodation arrangement. Is there any living place provided by you? If not, could you please let me know of the hotels nearby along with the probable cost per night including meals? Thank you in advance for your reply. I am looking forward to attending the seminar. Yours faithfully, Swathi Reddy
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Swathi
Reddy,
currently
working as a software engineer in India. I have learned about your seminar on Ethical Hacking, scheduled to
be held
in Sydney, Australia in December 2018, through an advertisement in a newspaper.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am planning to attend this workshop and need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The seminar schedule was not mentioned in the advert.
Hence
, I would like to know the duration and schedule of the workshop. I would be glad if you can
also
give me a brief of the program: which aspects of Ethical Hacking will
be covered
as part of the workshop and if there will be any hands-on or will it be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a theoretical session.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
inform me how much it would cost to book my seat.
Lastly
, as I will be travelling from India, I would like to know about the accommodation arrangement. Is there any living place provided by you? If not, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know of the hotels nearby along with the probable cost per night including meals?

Thank you in advance for your reply. I am looking forward to attending the seminar.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Swathi
Reddy
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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