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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v.1

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Rona Lyn Olivar, an ICU Nurse at the Urdaneta City Sacred Heart Hospital, located in the province of Pangasinan in the Philippines. I have learned from a colleague that you will conduct an Electrocardiogram Training in Singapore. I am writing to ask for some specific information regarding the seminar schedule, program details, accommodation arrangement and the cost. Firstly, with regards to dates and time, what will be the seminar schedule and what time would it begin and end each day? Secondly, please notify me of the topics and speakers of the program. I am wondering if there is any special consideration for the registered nurses who will be attending the seminar? And finally, I would also like to know about the accommodation and the cost. Would the accommodation be arranged by you or should an individual be responsible for that? What would be the approximate cost to attend and successfully finish the seminar? I am very much interested in attending the seminar and your reply would help me plan for it in advance. So, I am looking forward to hearing from you soon regarding my concerns. Yours faithfully, Rona Olivar
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rona
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lyn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Olivar
, an ICU Nurse at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Urdaneta
City Sacred Heart Hospital, located in the province of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pangasinan
in the Philippines. I have learned from a colleague that you will conduct an Electrocardiogram Training in Singapore.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific information regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
schedule, program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, accommodation arrangement and the cost.

Firstly
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
dates and time, what will be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
schedule and what time would it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
each day?
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
notify me of the topics and speakers of the program. I am wondering if there is any special consideration for the registered nurses who will be attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
? And
finally
, I would
also
like to know about the accommodation and the cost. Would the accommodation
be arranged
by you or should an individual be responsible for that? What would be the approximate cost to attend and
successfully
finish the seminar?

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much interested in attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
and your reply would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me plan for it in advance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
regarding my concerns.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rona
Possible spelling mistake found.
Olivar
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 1

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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